Get ready to love your neighbor! I'll never forget it. I was staring down the barrel of a neighbor's shotgun I had just baptized a few hours earlier. At this moment, I was highly thankful for the hostage negotiation training received by the Air Force just a few years prior. It is a moment that guides us to the Wonderfully Weird Command: Love Your Neighbor.
Most Christians are familiar with the words in Mark 12:31 in the bible, "Love your neighbor as yourself…" but few apply it effectively. This unfruitfulness means most live with it in theory, not in practice. It is a reality where love and gentleness support other people in a time of weakness to help them resolve the most critical life issues with the Lord's goodness. Like my neighbor, love and gentleness are needed to see past the harshness and bad behavior to get to the heart of the issue and heal a broken soul.
Often, a person's anger, rudeness, and hatred are a self-made shield to protect a wounded and hurting soul. It may also be a cry for understanding. Proverbs 20:15 says, "A person's thoughts are like water in a deep well, but someone with insight can draw them out (GNT)." If you want to engage with someone and get them to talk to you, you will have to learn how to ask open-ended questions to reach beyond their fears and nastiness. General questions will draw information out and give you what you're seeking. Examples of open-ended or general questions are "Talk to me" and "What's troubling you?"
Now, here is the key when using these types of questions. When a person wants to connect with people, no matter the circumstance, and better understand them, asking open-ended questions is necessary to draw out details to help the situation and person. When you believe the person you're asking is done telling you everything, ask the question again and again and again, of course, with gentleness and love. People dig deeper to identify the root problem, issue, or challenge whenever they ask for more. Going deeper allows a person to express "who they are." This expression subconsciously lets them understand that you are a trusted person and care for them.
By the way, my neighbor is doing well and is now living a Wonderfully Weird Life nearly 25 years after the gun barrel incident. An event that proves God's Way is always best in any situation. So, the next time you are staring down a barrel of a gun, figuratively or practically speaking, remember the Wonderfully Weird Command: Love Your Neighbor. Do so to receive the power of God's gentleness and love that kills harshness, where everyone enjoys the reward of a good community and the blessings of living well together through God's Way.
With gentleness and a loving heart,